April 2022 Research Report

Department; Occult Mystery Research, Management and Discipline subdivision.

Experiment; RC-2 Φ.

Purpose; Internal Memo.

Alright boys, your favourite middle-management employee [REDACTED FOR PRIVACY] here, let's get some things straight now that The Director's signed a deal with The Cultist.

You MUST;

• Allow authorized cult members onto company property.
• Serve cult members who offer to be paying customers at our various non-scientific, service-oriented locations (remember, customer is king, and it's our job to scam them!).
• Treat The Subject as a second in command to The Director, put requests for company resources directly through to The Director, but follow most orders you'd get from him as though they had come from The Director.
• Co-operate fully with the cult when assigned to the same work orders as members.
• If failure to comply with authorization checks rises, make uncooperative cultists disappear or otherwise kill them.
• When insistence upon searching the depths of the lake comes up, gaslight The Subject until he no longer seeks to search the lake.
• Feed the lake one (1) [REDACTED FOR PUBLIC SAFETY] on the nights of the full, waxing half, new, and waning half moon.

You MUST NOT;

• Initiate interference with The Subject, only interact when interacted with.
• Harm cult members without a valid, legally defensible reason.
• Supply The Subject with money, or other company assets, without approval from The Director himself.
• Supply the cult with money, or other company assets, without approval from the Shipping and Resources subdivision.
• Patch The Cultist directly through to The Director when she makes phone calls, only schedule in-person meetings.
• Mention The Man In The Lake, instead insist that there is no Man In The Lake.
• Comply specifically with rituals or events required by the Agate carving's prophesy.

Conclusion;

These adjustments will be printed in the Q2 2022 Employee Handbook, 2nd Edition, which will be distributed next week. Refer back to this page until then if you require a refresher.

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