Clowns (Homo Coulrophilus) are an invasive species of humanoid interloper. These creatures have pale white skin, often colourful hair, and facial markings that resemble the makeup of a human entertainer of the clown profession. The difference between human clowns and these clowns is that human clowns live to entertain and can un-clown whenever they wish. Clown biology is massively different from human biology, and it is theorized they are making incursions into our realm to gain sustenance due to a food shortage in their homeworld. Detained individuals indicate that they all speak in a jolly tone, and that there's a religion that allows for them to convert to being mimes.
Clown behaviour is predicated solely on what they find entertaining, this includes converting humans into their food source, laying eggs (henceforth called Funsacs), and committing massive acts of violence that often have dozens, even hundreds, of casualties. Their extremist ideology stems from a belief that human beings are a boring lot, and that we need some fun in our lives.
Homo Coulrophilus, the Common Clown, operates solely on a diet of sucralose and popcorn butter. To acquire these from other forms of life, they produce a web that is similar in structure to cotton candy, using this, they envelope people in cocoons that convert their bodies into a mixture of popcorn butter and sucralose, the concentration of popcorn butter correlates to the body fat and bones of an individual. Tests done on the bulbous red nose some individuals have shows that it is, in fact simply a massive pimple that is constantly maintained, as the draining of pus from this area causes brain death of the individual within 30 minutes and 10 seconds.
Clowns reproduce by a female laying their funsacs in a damp area, oftentimes the sewers or in the sand on a beach, afterwards, they must consume a large amount of food before they can lay another set of funsacs. A male clown must then come over and release his seminal fluid, referred to by other clowns as "funny fun fun cummy cum cum", onto said funsacks. After a week of gestation, the clown infants, henceforth referred to as honklings, will hatch and begin hunting so that they may eat and grow.
In addition, there are a few clown subspecies, the causes for the evolutionary split are unknown, with the only one being known is that mimes must join the Esoteric Order of Baggot to become a mime.
|Bozos.||Standard clown.||No remarkable unique traits.|
|Dunderheads.||Have abnormally large heads.||Exceptional headbutting ability.|
|Spicy Boys.||All red and white patterns are inverse of the average.||Can spit fire for up to five seconds.|
|Spunkhunkers.||Drip-pattern clothes.||Ejaculates violently as an attack.|
|Mimes.||Monochromatic attire and body.||More biologically human, incapable of speech.|